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Far Cough
8:12 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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He was huge in America and I mean fucking HUGE with people like Steve Martin, Burt Reynolds, Micky Rooney, Phylis Diller, Joan Rivers and even the venerable Walter Cronkite, coming out in favour of him
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Sven Roeder
7:57 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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So Ernie is porking some widow.
Ted turns up and kills him so she marries Ted.
Women! FMOB
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The_Phantom
7:14 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Yeah neither really, although in today’s pc world, no doubt sexist, racist (Chinese character) and probably many other ‘ists’.
Part of my tv childhood. Remember it being hit & miss, mildly amusing, and on forever, probably well past it’s sell by date.
Of it’s time.
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KingandPaynter
7:03 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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I used to drive Westwood nuts telling him that the first ever Rap hit record was Ernie The Fastest Milkman In The West. The fact is, it was. Benny was rapping in rhythm to the beat. Used to shout at the public school boy cum Compton Massive "oi Trigger, play Ernie"
You could hear the hoofbeats pound
As they raced across the ground
And the clatter of the wheels
As they spun round and round
And he galloped into Market Street,
His badge upon his chest
His name was Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west.
Now Ernie loved a widow,
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Lily Lane
At number twenty-two
They said she was too good for him,
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie got his cocoa there
Tthree times every week
They called him Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
She said she'd like to bathe in milk,
He said, "All right, sweetheart."
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He asked if she wanted pasteurised,
'Cos pasteurised is best
She says, "Ernie I'll be happy
If it comes up to me chest."
That tickled old Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west.
Now Ernie had a rival,
An evil-looking man
Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington
And he drove the baker's van
He tempted her with his treacle tarts
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she saw the size of his hot meat pies
It very nearly turned her head
She nearly swooned at his macaroons
And he said, "Now if you treat me right
You'll have hot rolls every morning,
And crumpets every night.
He knew once she sampled his layer cake
He'd have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day
Poor Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west.
One lunchtime Ted saw Ernie's horse
And cart outside her door
It drove him mad to find it was still there
At half past four
And as he leapt down from his van hot blood
Through his veins did course
And he went across to Ernie's cart
And he didn't half kick his horse
Whose name was Trigger
And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west.
Now Ernie rushed out into the street,
His gold-top in his hand
He said, "If you wanna marry Susie
You fight for her like a man!"
"Oh why don't we play cards for her?"
He sneeringly replied
"And just to make it interesting
We'll have a shilling on the side."
Now Ernie dragged him from his van
And beneath the blazing sun
They stood there face to face,
And Ted went for his bun
But Ernie was too quick for him,
Things didn't go the way Ted planned
And a strawberry flavoured yoghurt
Sent it spinning from his hand.
Now Sue she ran between them,
And tried to keep them apart
But Ernie pushed her aside and a rock cake
Caught him underneath his heart
As he looked up in pained surprise,
At the concrete-hardened crust
A stale pork pie caught him in the eye
And Ernie bit the dust.
Poor Ernie ("Ernie!")
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west.
Ernie was only fifty-two,
He didn't want to die
And now he's gone to make deliveries
In that milkround in the sky
Where the customers are angels
And ferocious dogs are banned
And a milkman's life is full of fun
In that fairy dairy land
But a woman's needs are many-fold,
And Sue, she married Ted.
But strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed.
Was that the trees a-rustling,
Or the hinges of the gate?
Or Ernie's ghostly gold-tops
A-rattling in their crate?
They won't forget Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west!
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Sydney_Iron
6:14 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Benny Hill was great and much of his stuff is timeless, a link was posted on the Chinese firm thread yesterday that made me laugh, even though it was maybe 35 or 40 years old, as funny today as then, not many comedians can do that.
A pity this question often gets raised when people talk about his shows, hilarious bloke, just wanted to make people laugh, no one was insulted or ridiculed, if anything he was always the butt of the jokes and gags, all harmless fun.
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jfk
3:57 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Alfs 3:43 Fri Jul 26
Well said mate.Its a struggle(regardless of dozens of channels) to find anything new that makes my laugh currently.
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Alfs
3:43 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Let's face it, JFK, everything in the seventies was sexist and homophobic, racist too - and often very funny.
I despair at all of this PC bollocks when it comes to rhetoric. If you can't laugh at yourself then you have a serious problem IMO.
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jfk
3:38 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Benny hill was hilarious,suited the masses at the time,his show had huge tv followings.
Who gives a shit if 40 odd years later it comes across sexist or homophobic?
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Alfs
3:35 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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I pitched a biodrama of his life to a couple of production companies a few years ago, when biodramas were all the rage.
Both came back and said it had been pitched before and though he'd get his Hill's Angels to nosh him off or give him a hand job from time to time, the rest of his life was pretty tedious.
Looking back, he was definitely autistic to some degree.
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zebthecat
3:15 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Capitol Man 1:22 Fri Jul 26
Chasing dolly birds along to Yakety Sax would sure come naturally.
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Mad Dog
3:03 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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You cant judge a person by his skin colour any more than you can judge a person by being a product of his time.
His shite wouldn't wash now. But his stuff was very early 80s NOT 2019.
I laughed at some of It as a kid. It isnt funny now. By today's standards sexist. But not by 1980's.
Not that it matters but I used to be good friends with his nephew.
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Mr. Burns
1:26 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Capitol Man 1:23 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
Fred SCUTTLE?
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greenie1
1:23 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Mr Chow Mein
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Capitol Man
1:23 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Who is the one who did the weird salute?
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Capitol Man
1:22 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Boris would make a good Benny Hill character.
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only1billybonds
1:17 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Grumpster
Cribbins did some great stuff including right said Fred. If you dont know it dig out his version of ' Iv'e grown accustomed to her face'
Even a unfeeling bastard like you will love it.
swt
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aldgate
12:27 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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bald head patting was always funny
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Grumpster
12:14 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Ernie the fastest milkman is a tune and a great video.
Up there with bernard cribbins, right said fred.
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ChillTheKeel
12:08 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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How about neither?
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Tomshardware
12:06 Fri Jul 26
Re: Benny Hill
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Had a sad life and was a bit of a loner in his life away from Tv.
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